An Experience In Life That Made Me Grow The Most.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I know I sound like a broken record when I talk about my dad’s death.

But, that is one significant life experience that made me grow the most.

It is a matter of fact, that I had no choice but to grow up after my dad’s death

His death was so sudden.

In fact, the last conversation I had with my dad was thanking him for sending me, my allowance. He was in such a hurry to end the call because he was on his way for a meeting that he promised to call me back but he never did. Life happened.

For context,

I have been sheltered my whole life. I sort of, lived in a bubble. A happy bubble, So to speak. I didn’t have to worry about anything. I always knew my dad would take care of it.

Losing him was devastating, to say the least. It felt like a rug was pulled out from under me, making me face this harsh reality, life.

I had to grow up, I had no choice but to grow up, if I ever was going to survive losing him.

But grow up, I did. And I am grateful to myself and the universe, I did.

I have grown so much, and I have so many life experiences now, that I maneuvered myself, with my dad’s help and guidance from heaven, Of course.

He is my Angel now.

And, I am so glad, I had the privilege of being his daughter in this lifetime.

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading through. 🤍

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Fate/Destiny

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

Yes,

I do believe in fate/destiny. And to a large extent, I believe we are the architect of our fate/destiny.

It’s all in our hands,

We have the power to choose between good and evil, right and wrong.

We have the power to choose what we want to happen to us, to choose the love we think we deserve, and also, to determine where our life’s journey takes us.

I don’t believe in coincidences, everything happens for a reason in my playbook, even when we might not understand.

I think it’s lazy to let, ‘life’ happen to you.

I believe,

You should be a willing participant in your life’s journey.

You should actively take steps to make sure that you are living the life you want, being your authentic self and basking in your truth.

I know it’s not the easiest of things these days. But we shouldn’t let our insecurities get the best of us, and rob us of, living in our authentic truth.

I hope,

Each and everyday, you find the strength to choose you above all else.

After all, we are here for a good time, not a long time. 😉

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading through.

© Unwana Udo-osoh

A phase in life

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

I don’t think there has ever been a phase in my life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

I love change a lot, even though everyone that I know personally, swears that I haven’t changed a bit, My behavior and appearance alike.

But,

I genuinely thrive in saying goodbye to phases in my life, I almost always look forward to it.

I am always open to new things, new ideas and new experiences,

Because,

It is always upwards and better for me, with each phase that I let go off.

But, a phase I think that was difficult to let go off, would be my daddy’s girl phase/era. I was truly a daddy’s girl.

Most times, I wish he was still alive.

That was difficult to let go off , but then I still made it through and I am thriving and I have memories of him to keep me company.

Does that even count as a phase in life?

As always,

I hope you enjoyed reading through, xx

© Unwana Udo-osoh

Being Loyal To A Fault.

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

I think I am too nice, too loyal to a fault.

Sometimes,

When a relationship or a situation has run it’s course, I tend to still stay and give the benefit of doubt.

I hope for the best, I hope for things to get better, and I end up wasting time and energy on things that do not matter.

I want to change that,

I want to have more faith in myself to know when to leave things that no longer serve me, Instead of wishing for things that might never be.

I struggle with cutting people off, and I think I do myself a great disservice. I always want to see the good in people but I think it’s better to leave things where they are, to allow better things come to you.

I think that is what I am going to work on going forward. I am going to learn to let things go especially when it no longer serves me. xx

©Unwana Udo-osoh

My Dad, My Hero ❤️

Describe a family member.

Today is the 5th anniversary of my Dad’s death, so it’s only right I describe him.

My dad was a funny human, there was a never a dull moment with him. He enjoyed a good gossip, and always had an anecdote to share about any and everything.

He was upright, I don’t think there was anything he valued more than his integrity. He always loved to speak the truth, to the best of his ability and he was always ready to give a helping hand to anyone who needed it.

He was my hero,

He is still is even in death.

As I have grown older, I have grown to understand him. Yes, our relationship was a bit rocky in my younger years, but I am so glad we were able to come to middle ground.

I am so grateful for my last few years with him, which opened my eyes to what an extraordinary person he was, still is, even in death.

He loved God with all his heart. And always tried, to the best of his ability to make the journey of life easier for the next man.

He was an ardent reader. He loved reading a lot. He would read auto-biographies, novels, newspapers, as long as it had print to it. He would read it and pen down his thoughts on it.

He loved writing, He always had a journal and pen with him, with which he wrote his thoughts and whatever else, He fancied.

He was handsome, with a a great sense of fashion and style.

I think what I love most about him, was his compassion to humanity. He always loved to see the good in people and encouraged anyone, he came across.

He was a father to not only me but a lot of people. Everyone looked up to him, Everyone sought his advice. He was straight forward and pragmatic. A trait, people around him were most gracious for.

I could go and on and on and talk about him. But, it hurts. Living without him and having to go through life without him, hurts.

I don’t know how I do it, but I am most grateful I have the strength.

I think what keeps me going is the fact that I know he is up in heaven, rooting for me and my siblings and my mum.

Losing our dad was such a devastating loss. His death was so sudden. But we pulled through as a family and are waxing stronger each day.

Rest In Peace, My hero.

I may have lost you in this world, but I am consoled by the fact, that heaven got an angel.

All my Love,

©Unwana Udo-osoh.

My Life In An Alternate Universe

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

I am a writer,

A successful best selling author.

Loved by many, hated by a few but an all round sweetheart.

I am a celebrity of some sort,

A famous writer, model, actress,

A girl who goes after anything and everything she wants.

I am in a relationship with the love of my life,

My family is well,

My dad is alive and I have the perfect relationship with him. I am an absolute daddy’s girl.

I am a humanitarian,

I work with charities, giving my time, energy and resources to a good cause.

I own a home in the country, an apartment in the city and a beach house for summer.

I am a mother too, with a mini me and a lil brother to keep her company.

I am happy and truly at peace with everything around me,

I spend my days in gratitude,

And I bask in the euphoria of being alive.

Ah,

If wishes were horses.

© Unwana Udo- osoh

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What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Going for Mass every Sunday,

My parents especially my dad was a real stickler to this. These days I rarely go for Mass,

When my dad passed, So did going for Mass every Sunday.

I don’t know if it has any correlation, but that’s that.

These days, I find myself being more spiritual, I make sure to attend my novenas and I pray my rosary everyday.

I miss attending Mass every Sunday tough,

I miss getting dressed for Mass, and my Dad reminding me every minute to be conscious of the time so we don’t get late.

I miss driving to Mass with my Dad, Stopping after Mass at the newspaper stand to get him, his favorite Sunday paper.

I miss the lazy Sundays I spent with him, reading his Newspapers, and having his naps in between, talking about whatever caught his fancy.

I miss my dad a whole lot.

Some day soon, I hope that I will be able to continue the tradition,

But for now, I guess I will be taking it, one Sunday at a time, xx

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Who would have thought??

I let myself into my apartment, still feeling a lil out of sorts. I place my purse on the coffee table, taking off my jacket, giving myself a lil stretch. I walk to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

Opening up the fridge, I let out a lil sigh,

I really could use a break from drama

For over a year, I have been an unwilling actor in the sh!t show that has become my life.

I had almost believed that my luck was changing, things seemed to be quieting down, going back to normal, back to a time where all I had were my dreams and aspirations. Before love was brought in the picture, turning everything to utter chaos.

My phone rings out loud from the living room, breaking me free from my reverie,

I smile a lil to myself, happy for the intrusion.

Emptying my water in a glass, I take it it out with me to the living room, placing it on the coffee table, sitting down comfortably on the sofa.

“Heyyyy” I drag my words softly, smiling into the receiver,

It’s David calling,

“Hey. How are you?” He says to me,

I can almost feel him smiling through the phone,

“I am fine” I say, “I just got in a couple of mins ago. I had a late lunch with Talia”

“Hmm” He breathes, “Did you have a good time?”

“Yes. How are you?”

“I am fine, a lil tired. I am rounding up at the office and I thought to invite for dinner at my place later on in the week. I want to cook for you”

“You want to cook me for me?” I echo,

“Yes” He replies,

“I had no idea you had culinary skills”

“Uh.. it might be a bit far fetch to call it skills but I do know my way around the kitchen” he quips, “And there are so many things about me you don’t know, yet” he says slowly into the receiver.

“Hmmm” I try to catch my breath,

The thought of seeing him again sending thrills down my spine,

I love me a man who can cook for me.

“Okay. Sounds like fun” I reply, smiling,

What is it about him that turns me giddy for no reason??

“I can’t wait to see you” He says to me, “I will text you the menu”

“Okay” I reply,

“I forget you are not a woman of too many words”

I laugh softly, “I can’t wait to see you too”

He laughs softly too,

“Goodnight Jules” He somewhat whispers,

“Goodnight David” I reply, ending the call.

I catch a glimpse of myself, through the hallway mirror, smiling from cheek to cheek, giddy and happy for no reason.

Hmm 🤔

Who would have thought??

Maybe that girl I so long for still exists,

Fingers crossed 🤞🏾

©️ Unwana Udo – osoh

Breakfast 🥺

He has changed,

The fairy tale,

Gone.

I try to remind myself,

That I have to loathe him.

But memories,

That’s the thing about em,

They creep on you,

When you least,

Expect em.

And now,

I find myself reminiscing,

Of a love,

That never happened.

I am stuck,

Hoping it’s my wandering imagination,

Again,

Playing tricks on me.

An Aries,

Teaching me that,

Maybe life,

Will never be,

The fairy tale,

I always hoped,

It would be.

Maybe I have to wake up from this dream,

Press forward,

Love again.

Or,

Maybe just close up my heart.

Anyway,

I think I have just being served breakfast,

Literally,

*sips tea.

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Let it go

“I don’t think David knows Clara” Talia tells me, cutting into her salad.

She takes a sip from her wineglass, making a face, rolling her eyes slightly at me.

“How would he know her?” She asks,

We are having a late lunch at que restaurant, an absolute favorite of ours. The ambience in the room, impeccable as always.

“I don’t know” I reply, a lil annoyed.

Sigh,

I have been annoyed since my conversation with Berenice. My thoughts, a hot mess, trying to figure out the connection between Clara and David.

“Omg! Berenice and her shenanigans. Why bring it up? It was a party” Talia replies, almost glaring at me.

She breaks me free from my thoughts,

“He saw me talking to Clara at the party. And to be very honest, I can’t put anything past Clara” I reply, sipping from my wineglass too. Staring down at my lunch, hoping for an appetite.

“If Berenice hadn’t invited Clara, we wouldn’t be having this conversation” Talia states dryly,

“You should ask him if it makes you feel better”

I contemplate her words,

“What?! Nah. That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

“You are not going to let it go till you know, so I say, Go for it”

“I think we should ask Isa instead. You know, See what he knows about David” I suggest,

“Or better still, we let it go??”

“I want to know what I am getting into” I try to cajole her, feigning a sad face.

“There is nothing for you to be worried about” She tries to reassure me,

“You think?! With everything I have been through with Clara” I say flatly, taking a sip from my wine again.

Talia ponders my words, chewing softly,

She sighs softly,

“Okay I will ask Isa. But there is no way David knows Clara. What do they have in common?”

“I don’t know. But out of everyone at the party, why is she be talking to my date?”

“I am sure it’s nothing”

“With Clara, its never nothing” I reply with a frown, picking up my wineglass again.

I stare down at my plate, picking up my fork, turning my Pasta in my plate.

“I don’t want a repeat of last year. I barely survived” I say softly,

“Stop” Talia replies, touching my arm slightly.

“I will ask Isa. I will ask him what he knows” She reassures me.

“Okay” I reply, feeling a knot in my stomach.

I swallow a forkful of my pasta, chewing softly.

Letting my thoughts run free, My anxiety threatening to take over me. I don’t know what I am feeling but my instincts tell me that this might end up being super messy.

Sigh,

Here we go again,

©️Unwana Udo- Osoh

Can You Trust Him?

I wake up with a start, sweat trickling down my forehead, clutching my pillow tight. I open my eyes softly, blinking hard, consciousness slowly returning to me.

Sigh!

I had been having somewhat of a bad dream. I let out a mild sigh, turning over in my pillow, my temples throbbing slightly.

I contemplate getting out of bed, I had had a fitful sleep. Berenice’s words kept playing in my head, piercing through my subconscious, impeding any hope of a peaceful night’s rest.

I sit up in bed, rubbing my eyes open.

It’s a quarter past 6am.

I should get out of bed, meditate a lil, put my mind at ease for today.

There must be a perfectly good explanation. It probably was some idle chit chat, nothing more.

My cellphone rings out loud from my bedside table, jolting me free from my thoughts.

“Donald” I say softly into the receiver,

“Hello Beautiful”

“Good Morning”

Brief pause,

“I miss waking up to you” He breathes,

I fall back in bed, closing my eyes,

“That’s cheesy Donald” I sigh softly, smiling.

“I thought you liked me cheesy” He remarks,

“Are you still in bed?”

“Uhm yea” I whisper lightly,

“Alone?”

“Are you being insecure?”

“No” He chuckles into the receiver,

“I am alone” I draw out my words,

“What’s wrong?”

“How do you know there is something wrong?”

“I can tell you are bothered.”

“It’s nothing serious” I mutter, “Besides, you don’t get to do that anymore”

“Do what anymore?”

“Make me tell you everything”

“Why? Because of the new boo?”

“He is not the new boo”

“Hmm” He murmurs, “Is this about him?”

“No.. Not really” I stutter,

“Tell me,” He insists, “Your secret is safe with me”

I sigh a lil into the receiver, sitting up in bed again,

“Berenice said she saw him speaking to Clara at the party and I have been so uneasy, with everything that happened last year.”

“My Clara?” Donald interrupts me, surprised.

“Uhm yea” I reply,

My heart stinging a bit at, ‘my Clara’

“How do they do each other?”

“I don’t know”

“Did he mention knowing her to you?”

“No. I had no idea they know each other”

“Uhm.. I see” He murmurs

“Do you think I should be concerned?”

He pauses briefly,

“Can you trust him?”

“I don’t know. I am just starting to get to know him”

I blurt out,

“Hmmm” He breathes,

“Donald…” I begin,

“It’s okay” He whispers, “I have to go love”

“Donald..” I try again,

“You worry so much” He reassures me, “Have a great day love”

I sigh softly,

“Have a great day Donald”

“Bye love, speak soon” He replies, ending the phone call.

Fack!!!

©️Unwana Udo-osoh

 

 

One Day At A Time

“Wait.. Donald met David leaving your apartment?! Omg… He must have flipped” Berenice drags her words in disbelief.

It’s a Monday, the beginning of another work week and back to business as usual at the fashion house.

We have just finished a meeting and Berenice had stayed back to chat with me, fill in on gossip from the weekend.

I shrug slightly, looking up from my laptop screen,

“It was the weirdest thing ever, I had no idea what to do” I reply,

“What did David do?”

I close my laptop screen shut, giving her my full attention.

“We kinda had had a conversation earlier about Donald”

“Hmmm” She breathes,

“Not in so many words but I told him I was involved with someone prior to meeting him”

“Hmmm”

“It’s the craziest situation ever”

“Listen.. I am going to need a few tricks off your playbook” She teases,

I laugh out loud,

“Donald doesn’t seem to care in the least that David exists, he seems to be taking it all in stride”

“He is being patient with you”

“I had the most amazing time with David over the weekend tho” I reply, dreamily.

“He seems to really like you” she offers,

“I like him too” I reply,

We are both silent for a while, and like an afterthought,

“Omg I almost forgot, how does he know Clara?”

“Clara?” I echo in disbelief,

 I can feel color drain from my cheeks,

“I saw them talking at the showcase”

I lean back in my seat, completely taken aback by her words.

“When?” I manage to find my voice.

“Uhm.. I can’t say for sure. I was looking for you everywhere I thought he would know where you could be and there he was chatting to Clara. Of course, they broke off the conversation when I approached them”

“I see”

 My heart beat literally doing back flips.

“It’s probably nothing. Small talk maybe. See, there was no need for you to get all riled up about Clara being at your showcase to start with. She was on her best behavior” She finishes.

I pause, contemplating if to tell her about my run in with Clara, I decide to keep it to myself.

“Yea. Probably just small talk” I mumble, my thoughts running wild.

David?! Clara?!

“You are buzzing right now. Our numbers are doing great, online orders are through the roof. Not bad at all”

She says to my fiddling with her phone, changing the subject of our conversation.

I smile absentmindedly, my thoughts racing

“See why we need to get the blogs involved more often” She adds,

“I love that it’s great for the jewelry but I am kinda tired of being the topic of conversation. Having strangers speculate on my personal business is no fun Berenice”

“Ah. I know,” She says, rolling her eyes slightly, “Why do you have to dwell on the negative? They are just rumors, Nothing more. You and I know that”

“Doesn’t make it any less hard to deal with” I reply, sighing a lil, my thoughts going back to Clara and David.

How do they know each other?

“I have to go. Work is calling” Berenice says to me, glancing at her wristwatch, standing up from her seat.

She straightens her skirt, coming over to blow me air kisses.

“Me too. I need to get started on my ‘Thank You’ notes” I reply,

She smiles softly at me,

“See you tomorrow for press tours”

“Uhh. Don’t remind me.”

“I promise we are talking only about the jewelry. Nothing more” She re assures me, laughing, heading for the door.

“Thank You Berenice” I call out,

“You welcome honey” She replies swaying nicely out of my office.

I watch her leave. My face crumbling in a frown. My thoughts running wild. I try to steady my breathing, my heart pounding in my chest, the temperature in the room dropping slightly, making me break into a small slight shiver.

David? Clara? How do they know each other?!

* * * * * *

“I know we agreed that whenever you are ready” David begins, refilling our wine glasses. He smiles slowly at me as if to reassure me, “but you can’t help but admit that this morning was a tad bit awkward” He finishes, looking pointedly at me.

I look away from him, squeezing my face into a small frown.

All day, I had hoped he wouldn’t bring up Donald showing up at my apartment unexpected this morning.

“I know” I say softly, bringing my wineglass to my lips

It had been an amazing late brunch, followed by an equally amazing time at the movies, now we are sitting sea side, sharing a bottle of wine, listening to the waves play a sweet harmony, watching the sun set in a distance.

Why did he have to spoil it with talk of Donald?

“You said he is no one important but…”

“What do you want to know?” I hear myself say, interrupting him.

“Is he the married lover?” He asks softly,

“Yes”

“What happened to you guys?”

I sigh softly, shifting uncomfortably in my seat,

“Why does it matter?”

“I need to know what I am getting into. Is there still something there?”

“No.. uhm.. To be honest, I don’t know”

He nods softly, leaning back in his seat.

“What’s going on Jules?”

“I thought we agreed to talk about this when I am ready”

He sighs softly, sitting up in his seat again,

“I want to know what you want”

“I don’t know what I want”

“At some point, you are going to have to know”

“I wasn’t planning on any of this happening. I am just starting to get to know you and I know I like you a lot but other than that, I don’t know”

He pauses briefly, Maybe contemplating my words,

“I like you too and I really want this to work. I don’t want to be used as a coping mechanism”

“I would never do that” I reply, reaching out to touch his arm lightly.

He takes my hands in his, kneading them softly. I look up in his eyes, held spell bound by the gentleness in em.

“I hope so” He mutters,

“Let’s take this one day at a time, shall we?” I breathe, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips, He pulls me into his arms, kissing me full on the lips.

“As you wish” He replies, pulling away gently, settling back in his seat again, watching me closely.

“Thank you” I whisper,

“You will take it easy with me, won’t you?”

He smiles slowly at me,

“Take it easy with you?”

“Yea.. Whatever you do, don’t break my heart” He shrugs slightly, picking up his wineglass again, bringing it to his lips.

Sigh,

Let’s say a quick prayer now, shall we?

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Meet Me Halfway

“Who was that?!”

Donald says to me, coming to find me still standing in the kitchen.

I squeeze my face into a frown, a lil surprised to see him.

“To think he was just asking me the same thing about you” I reply,

“You find this funny?”

I turn away from him, picking up my tea cup from the counter top,

“No. What I find funny is you being here”

 I sip from my cup, avoiding meeting his gaze.

“I have been trying to reach all morning. Your phone keeps ringing with no answer” He tells me,

“Oh” I reply, taking my tea cup out with me to the living room.

He follows suit, watching me keenly.

“It’s been on silent since last night. I am sorry I didn’t hear it ring. I have been nursing a hangover”  I offer, sitting on the sofa, tucking my legs in, “what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here? I came to see you” He replies, settling in a chair across from me.

I sip slowly from my cup, “why?”

“To apologize for last night”

“I thought you did that last night”

“Do I need a reason to come see you?” He asks, a lil puzzled.

I shrug slightly,

“The only thing you seem to be doing lately is apologize to me”

He sighs softly,

“I know. I wish I know how to make this better”

“So you keep saying”

“I am trying here Jules. At least meet me halfway”

“Meet you halfway?”

“All you seem to be doing lately is push back. You fight me at every turn”

“Last night. Last night, Clara insinuated some things.” I stutter.

“What did she say to you?” He breathes,

“She said she is having your baby. Your healthy perfect baby.”

“Fuvk” He mutters,

“Did you tell her about my …” I stop short, I cannot bring myself to say it.

“No” He whispers forcibly,

“Clara will use anything as an ammunition against me, against us” He says gently, coming to sit by me on the sofa.

“I am so tired of fighting” I say,

He sighs softly, “I know. Me too”

“Fix it then”

“I am trying Jules”

“It’s your fault we are in this mess. This is your bullish!t”

“What?!” He replies, completely taken aback, “Who was that leaving your apartment when I came in?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I ask defensive,

“Is that who Talia set you up with?”

“Yes”

He stands up from the sofa, pacing back and forth in my living room.

“Did he stay over?” He asks coolly

I bring my cup to my lips,

Uh oh. He is big mad

“It has absolutely nothing to do with our conversation”

“Answer me Jules” He says flatly,

“Yes” I whisper.

He stops pacing to stare down at me. I look away from him.

He goes back to take his seat across from me, fiddling in his pockets for his cigarette case. He takes one out, lighting it up, settling back in his seat.

“It’s not what you think” I add, fetching him an ashtray

“You don’t know what I am thinking” He exhales,

“After the debacle with Clara, I had a lil too much to drink. I just wanted to be numb, seeing her, everything just came back, everything I have been through this past year” I reply,

“That’s no excuse for letting a stranger sleep in your apartment”

“It’s not an excuse”

“Are you trying to get back at me?”

“What? No!”

“What is this about? Why would you have a total stranger sleep over?” He replies, watching me through a haze of smoke.

“He is not a stranger”

“I see” He replies coldly, visibly annoyed. “Did anything happen?”

“No” I flush,

“You are practically naked under that thing” He points out to me,

“Nothing happened. You are going to have to believe me”

He lets out a deep sigh,

“I am starting to get really tired of fighting with you Jules”

He says after a brief pause,

“If we could go back to the way things were”

“That’s a selfish thing to say. We can never go back to the way things were. I lost the only thing that mattered to me. Nothing will ever be the same again”

He breathes in sharp, as if stung by my words,

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said that” I add weakly,

“I should go” He says, killing his cigarette, standing up from his seat.

“No” I reply, standing up from the sofa too, feeling remorseful, I try to stop him.

“I am sorry I shouldn’t have said that. I am too hungover to have this conversation”

He smiles softly at me, taking me in his arms, “I have a flight to catch, love. You weren’t picking up so I stopped by to say goodbye.” He replies, placing a wet kiss on my lips, “sleep off your hangover, I will call you when I land”

“You are not mad at me?”

He shakes his head in the negative for me,

“No,” He whispers, “Nothing happened”

He breathes as if trying to reassure himself, enveloping me in a warm hug.

“Nothing happened” I echo, settling in his embrace. I catch a whiff of his perfume, feeling a lil light headed, happy to be in his arms.

“Take care of you, love” He mutters softly, kissing me full on the lips.

“Have a safe flight” I say to him.

He nods, making his way out of my apartment.

I watch him leave, settling back on my sofa, picking up my tea cup again, slowly sipping from it.

What?! Nothing happened!!

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

OMG!!

I wake up with a start, my head throbbing slightly. Turning over on my pillow, I let out a lil sigh.

Fack,

I am hungover.

Yesterday had been amazing, better than I had imagined. The showcase had gone off without a hitch, well.. except for me lil fiasco with Clara.

After rejoining the party, I had had too many glasses of champagne and ended up partying till the early hours of the morning with the gang, Bernice, Talia, Isa, and David. That should explain this nagging headache.

Sigh

I sit up in bed gently, throwing back the covers, rubbing my eyes open. I push back hair away from my face, glancing at the wall clock, it’s a couple of mins past 10am.

Thank God

It’s a Sunday,

The only thing I have to look forward to is my brunch date with David.

David..

The thought of him brings a small smile to my face. He had been so amazing last night, at the showcase.  The perfect date, calm, gentle and reassuring.

I drag myself to my feet, smiling to myself, wrapping my robe around me making my way down the hallway to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

I stop dead in my tracks, glancing in my living room. A lil startled to find David lying shirtless, cuddled up on my sofa.

I walk in slowly, careful not to wake him up.

I stand transfixed for a moment, contemplating if to wake him up.

He does look so peaceful at the moment.

Abruptly, He opens his eyes. Staring up at me, blinking soft, mild confusion etched on his face. He pushes back the blanket covering him, gently sitting up on the sofa, letting out a lil yawn.

“Good morning” He says to me,

“Good morning” I reply, “You are here”

He shoots me a puzzled glance, standing up from the sofa, stretching a lil, picking up his shirt lying at the edge of the sofa.

He is everything I imagine shirtless, ripped and hard all over

“Yes, I am” He replies, fastening his buttons, “You don’t remember asking me to stay over?”.

Wait… what??!

“Omg” I whisper.

“I figured you didn’t want to be alone” He adds, settling back on the sofa.

He yawns softly,

“Omg” I say again, utterly embarrassed.

He laughs softly, patting the sofa for me to sit,

“It’s nothing Jules” He soothes,

“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a bother” I reply, coming to sit by him on the sofa.

“You are not a bother. I really was in no state to drive. You offered I sleep it off on your sofa”

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?”

“A glass of water would be nice. And coffee” He replies, smiling at me.

I nod softly, leaving him in the living room for the kitchen. I set the kettle on the stove to heat, taking out a bottled water from the fridge.

“Omg. Omg.. Omg..” I whisper to myself, trying my hardest to steady my breathing, trying to remember details from last night. Everything after the club seems to be a blur.

“Are you okay?” I hear from the doorway,

I look up to find David leaning on the doorframe, watching me.

“You almost made me jump out of my skin”

“You were so deep in thought You didn’t hear me come in” He replies, walking into the kitchen.

“I was just wondering how you ended up on my sofa” I reply, handing him the bottle water. He uncorks it, taking a deep gulp.

“Thought we were over that?” He asks,

The kettle shrieks out loud, stealing my attention away. I busy myself with fixing him a cup of coffee.

“Do you want to talk about last night?”

“Last night?” I echo, placing a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Yea. Last night” He affirms, watching me.

“What about last night?”

“Who was that from the hallway?”

“No one” I mutter, attempting to back away from him.

He stops me,

“No one?” It’s his turn to echo.

“Yes. No one” I try to look away from him, “He is no one important”

I hear myself say,

“Then why won’t you talk about him?”

“Because he doesn’t matter”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“That’s hard to believe judging from last night”

“What?!”

“He got you so riled up last night and now he doesn’t matter?”

I step away for him, picking up my tea cup, placing a tea bag in it. I fill it with water, watching it brew. He picks up his cup, sipping slow from it.

“Can we not talk about it? At least not now?” I say to him.

“Okay” He replies nodding, “come here please”

He takes me in his arms, resting his hands lightly on my waist, staring in my eyes.

Damn that stare

“I need you to know that if we are going to do this, I will need you to be honest with me” He says slowly to me.

“I need time. Time to sort through a lot of things” I reply, looking up at him. I find myself being drawn to him, closing the lil distance between us. He pulls me closer still,

“I want you Jules. I want to be with you” He breathes, inching closer still.

I part my lips softly,

He smiles slowly at me, his eyes dark with desire, and lust, “Do you want me Jules?”

“Yes”

He kisses me full on the lips, parting my lips softly. His hands move slow down my back, pressing his body to mine. His touch, so firm, yet light, sending mild thrills down my spine. He kisses me deep, teasing, searching, probing.

I let out a soft moan, loving the feel of his lips on mine, so warm, so sweet, like hot chocolate on a rainy day.

He pulls my robe off me, taking down the straps of my nightie too, letting out a sharp breath, spreading light kisses down my neck, on my cleavage, cupping my breast, kneading them softly,

The doorbell chimes loudly, breaking the spell, pulling us apart.

I try to catch my breath, pulling my nightie back in place. I pick my robe off the floor, wrapping it around me.

The doorbell chimes again,

“Are you expecting anyone?” He says to me, straightening himself, picking up his tea cup to sip from it,

“No” I say softly, smoothing my robe.

“I had better go” He replies,

“I should make you breakfast” I say, staring up at him.

“You have me all to yourself today, remember? I need to go home and freshen up. Then pick you up.” He replies smiling down at me, pulling me into his arms again, kissing me lightly on the lips.

The doorbell chimes again,

This time, a lil impatient,

“I had an amazing time” I whisper,

“Me too. Thanks for the coffee”

“You are welcome”

The doorbell chimes, yet again.

“I will let myself out” He says, kissing me lightly on the cheeks, pulling away gently from me.

I watch him leave, pulling my robe tight around me, smiling softly to myself.

Now who tf could that be??!!!

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Let The Games Begin

It’s here.

It’s finally here.

The day of my showcase.

I look around the room, a lil flustered, overwhelmed at the turnout. Berenice really did her thing. Everyone who is anyone is here.

The editor-in-Chief of ‘Faces’ magazine had pulled me aside to tell me how much she had enjoyed the show. In her own words, “You outdid Yourself Julia, This is truly breathtaking”

Yes,

Yes I did,

I did outdo myself,

All my sweat, tears and raw emotions out for the world to see. My own lil creation, a visual of my present reality.

“Champagne?” David nudges me softly, stopping a waiter passing by. He takes two glasses out of the tray, handing me one, smiling down at me.

I sip slow from my glass, feeling butterflies in my stomach. I don’t know if it’s from the success of the showcase or the fact that David is here with me.

Calm, self assured, looking extra sophisticated in his navy blue evening suit, matching the Metallic of my Rebel couture number, a clingy beaded midi length gown. My hair is pulled back away from my face in a braid. My makeup subtle yet daring, bronze like, illuminating my skin.

“You haven’t said much all evening. It was a spectacular show” He tells me, watching me.

“Thank You.” I reply, “I have been feeling a lil flustered all evening. Anxious, so to speak”

“It’s the nerves. It will pass soon. It’s a great turnout” He remarks, his gaze sweeping across the room.

“Yes. I am glad everyone showed up. The feedback has been amazing” I say to him, looking around the room too.

There are people gathered in pairs, groups in threes and fours chatting animatedly among themselves. The ambience of the room electric. Some admiring the jewelry pieces on mantels placed in strategic positions around the room. Others indulging their tastebuds, catching up on the latest gossip.

I spot Berenice at the far end of the room, hand in hand with a buyer showing her pieces on display.

“Sh!t” I mutter to myself, quickly averting my gaze.

It’s Clara

“Huh?” David says to me

“Nothing” I reply, smiling up at him, taking a big sip from my glass.

“Are you okay?” He says softly to me,

“Yes, I am fine”

“Are you sure?”

“I will be right back.” I reply, finishing what’s left in my glass. I hand it to him.

Sh!t! Sh!t!! Sh!t!!!

I make my way through the party, my heart pounding in my chest, oblivious to anything. I spot Talia across the room chatting animatedly with Isah and a guest. I walk up to her, looking around the room for Donald, he is nowhere to be found.

So much for keeping an eye on his wife

I catch David’s eye, he is sipping from his glass, watching me. I look away from him, whispering in Talia’s ear, “Clara is here” And turning to Isa and the guest, “I am sorry but may I steal Talia for a bit”

Isa smiles down at me, “Congratulations are in order”

“Thank You” I reply, smiling broadly.

“Bring her back in one piece” He says to me, kissing Talia on the cheeks.

I nod softly,

“Clara is here?” Talia asks rhetorical, scanning the room.

“Yes”

“Where is she?”

I turn around to show Talia,

Uh oh.. Too late

Walking towards me, swaying nicely, baby bump protruding slightly, clad in a shimmering evening gown is Clara.

“Julia” She says to me, beaming from cheek to cheek. Her flaming red lipstick a sharp contrast to her pale skin. “I have been looking all over for you” She continues, blowing me air kisses. “This is divine. Absolutely divine”

“Hello Clara, it’s good to see you too”

“It’s been too long” She says coyly, patting her baby bump, smiling at me.

“Congratulations” I reply, looking down at her stomach.

“Well, Thank You” She replies, sparing Talia a glance, “Its good to see you Talia”

Talia rolls her eyes slightly, feigning a smile, “it’s good to see you Clara”

“I hope you don’t mind but I was hoping to have a conversation with Julia, alone”

Talia squeezes my hands, “I will be here if you need me”

“Julia” Clara begins when she is out of earshot.

“What do you want?”

“What do I want? Same thing as always, I want you to leave my family alone” She hisses.

“Is that why you literally begged your way for an invite?”

“You wish” She chuckles, “No. I asked politely and Berenice was more than willing to send me one, sugar. I came to show you though. Quit while you can Julia. I am having his baby. His healthy perfect baby” She replies, patting her baby bump, smiling slowly at me.

“How dare you?” I mutter icily.

“How dare I remind you of what you so desperately want but might never be able to give him?”

I flinch at her words, hurt to my core.

“Clara?!” I hear from behind me,

I turn around to find Donald staring coldly at the scene. I try to walk away from the both of em but he stops me mid stride,

“I am sorry I am late, I couldn’t get away any sooner” He says softly to me,

“I have to go Donald”

“What have you done?” He says icily to Clara.

“Me?? What have I done?” She spits back at him.

You can slice the tension between us with a knife. I try to get away but He stops me again,

“Please lets me go” I say to him.

My heart hurting a lil, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. He lets me go, sighing a lil, parting his lips to say something but no words come out. Instead, He steps out of the way for me. I half run across the room, catching a glimpse of David watching me. He follows me out the room, catching up with me in the hallway,

“Jules” He says to me, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” I whisper,

“How do you know those people? Why are you crying?” He says to me in mild confusion.

“It’s nothing” I whisper again,

He lets out his arms to me, holding me close, I sob silently in his arms, letting out all the hurt, pain and frustrations of the last few months. Seeing Clara and her baby bump just made my nightmare all too real.

David holds me close still, whispering soothingly in my ears,

“It’s okay Jules. It’s okay”

Kissing me lightly on my forehead.

“I am sorry” I whisper, sniffing back tears.

“You don’t have to be” He says, gently cleaning tears from my face, “We good?”

“Yea” I reply, half smiling.

“Are you sure?”

I nod softly,

“Let’s head back” He says to me.

“I need to touch up on my makeup” I reply,

“Okay. See you inside?”

“Yea. I will come find you”

I head slowly to the ladies room, switching on the tap, the sound of the water trickling slow, soothing my aching heart.

I am having his baby. His healthy perfect baby

I draw in a quick breath, exhaling softly.

How dare I remind you of what you so desperately want but might never be able to give him?

I stare at myself through the mirror, touching up on my makeup, turning away from the mirror, straightening my gown.

I let myself out to find Donald leaning against the wall in the hallway, waiting for me. He steps away from the wall when he sees me, walking up to me. His eyes, searching my face.

“I am so sorry Jules”

I let out a mild sigh, “it’s okay”

“You look beautiful” He tells me,

“Thank You” I mutter, staring up at him.

“I wish.. I wish I know what to do to make this better”

“Yea. Me too”

“I am trying here Jules”

“I should get back to my guests”

“Please.. wait..” He pleads, “what can I do to make it better?”

“I don’t know”

“Don’t be like this, love”

“You should leave me alone” I offer softly,

“I can’t. I have tried”

“I have to go” I reply,

“Julia” I hear from a distance.

I look up to find David, silently watching us.

“I should get back inside” I tell Donald,

He nods softly, stepping out of the way for me, holding my arms lightly, “I am never giving up on us”

I turn away from him, walking up to David.

He looks me over, “Are you alright?”

“Yes” I nod at him.

“I thought I should come find you.”

“We should head back to the party” I say softly, linking my arms with his, smiling sweetly up at him.

I take one last long look at Donald, standing in the hallway, his hands casually in his pockets, his eyes, dark with unspoken fury.

Alrighty then, let the games begin!

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Running In Circles (2)

I make my way through the bubbly happy hour crowd, a lil annoyed with myself.

I still don’t understand what is going on with me and Donald. All I have are promises. Mere words, So fickle, So empty.

I spot Berenice and Talia sitting at our favorite spot, by the bar, talking animatedly,

“You are late” Talia tells me, as I approach the table, reaching up to blow me air kisses.

“I am sorry. I had a few things to take care of” I reply, turning to Bernice. She smiles at me, reaching up to blow me air kisses too.

“Hey Jules”

“Hey Bernice” I reply, sitting across the table from them

I take off my jacket, taking in the scene around me. It sure is crowded in here tonight, it’s the start of the weekend, with everyone trying to shake off the stress of the work week, let loose.

“I could use some shots” I say to no one in particular.

“Me too” Berenice replies, “We ordered cocktails but we could do some shots too”

“Erm.. I invited Isa and David. They should be here any minute” Talia says to me.

I swallow hard. My heart racing slightly,

Omg I get to see David so soon after last night??!

“Hmm” I murmur, feigning a smile.

“Uhh…. Super. I finally get to meet our new boo” Berenice says sweetly, smiling at me.

The  waiter comes over with our cocktails.

“Can we have some shots, please? a round of tequila shots.” I say to him.

He nods slowly, heading back to the bar.

“How is David?” Talia asks, sipping from her cocktail.

“He is good. I think. I haven’t seen him since dinner”

“Why?”

“I have been busy. We have been busy”

“It’s been a week since dinner”

“And?”

“I am dying to meet the man willing enough to take up the challenge of stealing you away from Donald. This should be fun to watch” Berenice says to the both of us.

I sip from my cocktail slow, unsure of what to say. Talia’s phone beeps, putting an end to the conversation, thankfully.

“Isa is here” She beams, standing up from her seat, “I will go get them”

“Okay” I murmur, smiling at her.

“I tried reaching you this morning” Berenice says to me, watching her leave.

I shrug slightly, distracted.

“Promise you will be nice. Go easy on him” I say softly.

“Why?”

“Promise”

“Okay I promise” She says flatly.

“Thank you” I whisper, sipping from my cocktail.

“How are you? How did it go? You guys good?” She asks, referring to my meeting with Donald.

“I really could use those shots” I reply,

Right on cue, the waiter comes back with our order, placing it on the table, leaving. We sling it back in one gulp, licking our limes.

“Okay. That felt good” I mutter.

“Too bad we went without Talia” Bernice remarks,

“I will need you to not tell Talia about my meeting with Donald”

She looks at me, skeptical.

“Sure” She sips from her cocktail, “what’s wrong Jules”

“I slept with him”

Talia appears at our table with Isa and David in tow.

“Hey Pretty lady” Isa says to me, bending over to give me a warm hug. “It’s been forever”

“Hey Isa” I reply, returning his hug. He smiles warmly at me, walking over to Bernice.

I stand up from my seat to give David a hug too.

“Hey Jules” He says softly in my ear.

“Hey” I reply, staring up at him.

He smiles slowly at me, kissing me lightly on the cheek. I feel a mild warmth spread through me,

“You did the shot without me” Talia asks rhetorical, slinging a shot back too.

Berenice clears her throat slightly, looking from me to David.

“David, meet Bernice. My friend and publicist”

“It’s so nice to meet you” She beams, blowing him air kisses,

“It’s so nice to meet you too” He replies warmly, coming to take a seat beside me.

He looks me over slowly,

“I tried reaching you last night”

“I am sorry. I got busy with work and lost track of time”

He nods slowly, a lazy smile plastered on his face.

“We should do more shots. What would you guys like?” Berenice says, signaling a waiter passing by.

“Jameson” David replies the waiter.

“Beer” Isa replies, “and another round of shots”

The waiter nods, heading back to the bar.

“How have you been Jules?” Isa asks,

“Fine. Just a tad bit busy”

“Oh yea. The showcase, thanks for the invite”

“You welcome” I reply,

Berenice sips from her cocktail, watching David.

“So… David, what do you do?”

“I am an architect” He replies, “ I work in the same firm as Isa”

The waiter comes back with our orders.

David sips from his glass, silently watching the table, his gaze somewhat vacant.

“Oh yea” Berenice replies, turning to Isa, “I heard you played Cupid”

“Nah” He replies, “I can’t take credit for that. Talia thought they would hit it off”

“Now here we are” Talia beams.

David continues to sip from his glass, watching the table.

“How was your day?” I say to him

“Amazing.. now I get to spend some time with you”

I smile softly, blushing a lil.

“Let’s do shots” Talia says,

We each sling one back, licking our limes.

“Straight to the head” I murmur

David smiles at me, a glint in his eye.

“Jules can I steal you for a bit?” Berenice says to me,

“Don’t worry. I will stay with the boys” Talia says

I fall in stride with Berenice, maneuvering our way through the crowd.

“I like him” She says to me, in the silence of the ladies room, powdering her nose, “You guys look good together”

“Really?”

“Yea.. Which is why I think you need to figure out this.. whatever it is you still have going on with Donald”

“It was a mistake” I say softly,

“I know. You need to be careful tho. We don’t want to mess a good thing up” she replies, putting her makeup away

“I don’t know what I want” I say with a soft sigh,

“Do you like him?”

“Yea”

“Then give him a chance. Quit ruining around in circles with Donald”

I sigh softly, not saying anything.

“All I am saying is put you first. Not some make believe fantasy that might never happen” She says softly, coming to give me warm hug.

We head back to our table, chatting amicably, a steady flow to the conversation around the table.

It will be so easy to give in to this.. find me a new path, make me a new home.

“We should do brunch on Sunday” David says to me, bringing me back to the table. “We could spend the day together, do anything you want”

“Sounds like fun” I reply softly,

He stares at me, his eyes sweeping me over. His gaze, no more vacant. Now filled with want and desire and everything in between.

I feel my palms sweat a lil, my mouth going dry. I sip from my cocktail, holding his gaze, unsure of what to do.

“Okay”

“There is nothing I love more than brunch on a Sunday morning” I say almost to myself

“Well.. Maybe someday you might learn to love me more”

“Learn to love you more?” I echo

“Yea. Learn to love me more than brunch on a Sunday morning” He whispers, grinning at me, sipping from his glass.

Ah! If only it were that simple..

©️ Unwana Udo-Osoh

Running in circles (1)

I stir,

Opening my eyes,

Blinking soft,

Trying to familiarize myself with my surroundings.

I turn over to find Donald sleeping somewhat peacefully next to me, his arms loosely wrapped around me, a serene expression etched on his face.

He is snoring lightly.

I get out of bed, careful not to wake him up.

He stirs lightly, mumbling softly in his sleep.

I tiptoe out of the bedroom, reaching for his shirt lying at the foot of the bed, wrapping it around me.

I walk softly into the living area searching my purse for my phone.

It’s a quarter to 2am.

Shit!!

I type a message hurriedly to David,

“I am sorry. I got caught up with work”

I reply his text from last night.

I sigh softly, settling down on the sofa, finishing the remainder of my drink from last night.

I sit in the silence, my thoughts running wild.

Why do I keep doing this? Running In circles with him?

“Jules” I hear from the bedroom.

“I am here. In the living room”

“Come back to bed, please”

I head back silently to the bedroom, crawling into bed with him.

He reaches out for me, his eyes heavy with sleep. A soft sigh escapes my lips as I settle into his embrace, closing my eyes, listening to his even breathing as he almost immediately falls back asleep.

Oh fack!

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Give Me Time.

Donald lets me in his hotel suite,

Closing the door behind me.

I walk in slowly, taking in the scene around me.

Happy, despite myself to see him.

He smiles at me.

Enveloping me in a warm hug, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

“Hello Jules” He says to me, taking my hand in his,

“Hello” I reply, smiling softly.

He shows me to the living area, gesturing for me to make myself comfortable on the sofa, walking over to the mini bar.

“What would you like?”

“Gin and Tonic would be nice”

“Lime?” He asks, fixing my drink.

“Yes”

He comes over to the sofa, setting my glass on the coffee table,

Walking over to take a seat across the sofa from me, cradling a glass of cognac.

“You look well” He remarks, looking me over, sipping from his glass.

His eyes stuck on me, “I miss you Jules”

I sigh softly, “Donald”

“Do you miss me?”

“You know I do”

“Do I ?”

I look away from him, sipping from my glass.

“You said you wanted to talk”

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” He asks gently,

“Talk about us” I reply, looking at him again.

“Why are we here?” He asks rhetorical, sipping from his glass.

He shakes his head slightly as if trying to steer away a bad thought.

“I need you Jules”

I bite my lips softly, my heart racing.

I want so much to reach across the sofa to him, to feel his arms around me.

“You know why we are here” I say instead, trying my hardest to push aside my thoughts.

“I need time Jules” He says sighing, rubbing his eyes. “I need time to sort this out.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“All I ask is you give me time”

“I won’t let you abandon your family”

Donald sips quietly from his glass,

“Everything is not as it seems. I need you to trust Me”

“What does even that mean?”

“It means I love you and I am willing to do everything to be with You” He says quietly,

“That’s bullshit”

He flinches slightly, stung by my words.

I swallow hard, trying to find the right words.

“Clara is never going to leave you. Especially not now she is having your baby”

Donald is silent.

He sips from his glass, watching me.

“So what do we suggest we do, go our separate ways? Do you want to leave me? Is that what this is?”

“No.. No.. Being without you is the hardest thing for me”

“It doesn’t look that way to me” He replies icily.

“This isn’t working. I had better go” I reply, standing up from my seat, grabbing my purse.

He stands up from his seat too, placing his glass on the coffee table, reaching from across the sofa for me, “Come here. I am sorry” He soothes, taking me in his arms.

I breathe him in, intoxicated by his familiar warmth, settling into his embrace, tearing up a lil, overwhelmed by my longing for him.

I feel his lips on my eyelids, gently kissing my tears away. Kissing my forehead, Parting my lips with his, Pressing my body against his, Kissing me fervently, Letting me know how much he has missed me.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry” He breathes into my mouth.

I pull away gently from him,

straightening my dress.

I am quiet, at a loss for words

How does he wield so much power over me? One touch and I am weak, my defenses crumbling.

“Let’s talk about something else” He says, coming to sit by me on the sofa.

My cellphone rings out loud from my purse.

It’s David calling.

I let it ring, unsure of what to do.

“Won’t you get that?” Donald asks,

“I will take care of it later”

He nods softly at me.

My cellphone beeps.

A text message

“How are you? Free for drinks later tonight?”

I ignore it,

putting my phone away.

“I met someone” I hear myself say,

Donald reaches across the coffee table, bringing his glass to him, sipping from it.

“What do you mean by, you met someone” He says gently, looking at me.

“Talia introduced us”

He chuckles lightly,

“Talia” He remarks, “How is she?”

“She is fine.” I reply sighing, “I am not looking to get into a relationship, at least not now”

“Are you giving up on us?”

“I don’t know. I always thought what we had was everything and then this happened and now I don’t know what to do, what to think”

Donald sighs softly, sipping from his glass.

He reaches into his pocket for his cigarette case, taking a cigarette out, lighting it,

“What do you want?” He asks, exhaling smoke.

“I want to be wrong. I want to be with you”

“Give me time” He says, “Give me time Jules”

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait”

He sips silently from his glass, smoking lazily.

The silence between us, tense.

But sort of in a good way.

“All I ask is time Jules. A lil while longer to sort through this, then we can be together, like I have always promised, like you have always wanted”

“Okay”

“I love you Jules” He says to me, killing his cigarette.

He reaches out for me.

I move closer to him on the sofa,

“I love you too” I mutter, kissing him softly on the lips. He smiles slowly at me, his eyes dark with desire.

It sure feels good to be home

©️ Unwana Udo-Osoh

Baby Steps

I close my laptop lid, reclining back on my seat, letting out a lil yawn. I had hoped reading would help put my mind at ease, channel my thoughts to something else.  

Something other than David and last night’s dinner.

Why does it feel like he knows all the clues to this game we seem to be playing?

He knows the right words, says almost all the right things.

And this gentle re assurance which he so effortlessly gives,

Seems to be all I need at the moment.

Berenice saunters into my office. Looking chic in a beige pencil dress and a silk scarf to match. She is carrying two steaming mugs, her heels clicking meticulously on the tile floor, beaming from cheek to cheek.

“I thought you could use a tea break” She says to me, placing one steaming mug on the desk in front of me.

“Thank you” I reply, smiling up at her.

She goes to take her seat across the desk from me,

“I come bearing gifts” She begins smiling,

“Really?”

“Yes. So.. I talked to a few of my contacts and was able to set up a meeting but as it is Rebel couture would love to send you a few dresses for your showcase”

“Omg” I reply, mildly surprised. “How did that happen?”

“Uhh.. You know, I did my thing, nothing fancy” She replies, attempting to sip from her cup. She abandons the effort, continuing to blow steam, “This thing is piping hot”

“Aww Thank you Berenice. What am I going to do without you?”

“Uhm.. so much. But you are welcome. So is that a yes. I can come up with something else if you want. But I still think you should take this meeting” She replies, sipping from her cup.

“No it’s perfect”

“Okay. I will schedule a meeting for next week”

“I am dying to see what He comes up with” I reply, smiling hard.

“Me too”

And resting comfortably in her seat,

“You look well” She remarks,

“Me?!” I stutter, sitting up to bring my mug close to me. I blow out steam, sipping slow.

Berenice is right. It is piping hot

I set it back on the table, looking at her.

“I don’t know. You look, Can I say happier?”

“Happier?!” I echo.

“Yeah. Like a ray of sunshine” She teases, “So.. spill, what’s up?”

“Nothing” I reply, attempting to sip from my cup again, “Okay, I met someone” I whisper.

“That’s amazing” She quips,

I laugh softly,

“It’s nothing serious”

“It’s a start” She replies, smiling at me.

I nod slowly,

“I don’t know if I want anything so soon though. He ticks all the right boxes. Says almost all the right things. It feels almost too good to be true”

“Cute?”

“Yea. Tall. Dark. Handsome. My type”

“Hmm”

“I dunno though”

“If there is anything I have learnt is that if it looks too good to be true. It probably is”

“Yeah”

“So, how did you meet him?”

“Through Talia… Through Isa” I correct myself, “He works in the same firm as Isa”

“Hmm.. an architect.” She nods slowly, “You want me to look around. Do some digging” Smiling mischievous.

“Nah.. I am good. It’s nothing serious, at least not yet”

“So it’s really over with Donald?” She asks.

I sigh softly,

“I don’t know. We still have so much unresolved”

“Okay” She replies, sipping from her cup, “So when am I meeting the new man?”

“He is not my man. He will be at the showcase tho”

“Omg.. that’s major”

“You think?”

“Yea”

“You said I get someone as a date”

“Yea like a random fella. Not someone you are sort of having feelings for”

“Who said anything about feelings”

“Girl bye”

I laugh softly, sipping from my cup.

“I am looking forward to meeting him though” She adds.

“Maybe it’s a bad idea inviting him”

“No.. It’s perfect. A perfect distraction from your lover and his Mrs”

“You think it’s going to work?”

“I hope so” She laughs, standing up from her seat to come give me hug, “I am so happy you are happy Jules”

“Thank You” I return her hug.

“I have got to go now. Just popped in to tell you about the offer”

“Thank You Berenice”

“Anytime Love” She replies, picking up her tea cup, and walking out my office.

I watch her leave, Opening my laptop lid again.

Ah! Baby steps.

©️ Unwana Udo-osoh

Let Me In..

I smile softly, looking myself over in the mirror. I chose a red slinky number for tonight, midi length, it clings like a second skin.

My makeup is nude. My hair is pulled back in a ponytail. My skin, illuminating bronze like.

Sigh, what am I doing?

I walk over to my closet, picking out a black strappy heels to complete my look. I do a 360 in front of the mirror.

It’s been so long I have had to play dress up for anyone. Tuesday’s always used to be date night. Today is a Wednesday.

Out with the old, in with the new.

I let out a mild sigh, grabbing my phone and my car keys from my bedside table, putting them in my purse, looking myself over in the mirror again, smiling to myself.

Not bad Jules… not bad.

* * * * * * * *

I find David sitting at the lounge, nursing a glass of Jameson. He smiles slowly when he sees me, standing up from his seat. His eyes, looking me over in his usual way, taking in every inch of me.

I smile to myself, walking up to him.

“You look ..” He pauses, maybe trying to find the right words, “You look beautiful”

“Thank You” I reply, falling into a light embrace with him. I blow him air kisses, catching a whiff of his perfume. So clean, oh so very masculine.

“Let’s have a quick drink while we wait for our table” He beckons to me, showing me a seat beside him, “What would you like?” He signals the waiter.

“Wine. White wine, please” I say softly to the waiter. He nods his reply, heading back to his work station.

“You are so pretty” David says to me, searching my face.

Damn that stare

I smile softly at him, “How are you?”

“Good… Better now you are here”

I laugh softly, blushing slightly.

He takes a sip from his glass, staring at me, a twinkle in his eye,

“Did that sound cheesy?”

“A lil bit”

“You look amazing though” He says, looking around the room. As if on cue, the bartender comes back with a glass of wine, setting it in front of me.

“Thank You” I say to him, sipping from my glass.

“I promise, I am not going to bite”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“It feels that way with you. Like you are scared to get too close”

“Really?”

“Yea. I might reading too much to it though” He shrugs slightly,

“Maybe”

He smiles at me, holding my gaze. I find myself being drawn to him, wanting to explore where this could lead.

“Like now, with your one word replies” He says, bringing me back to the present.

“I am sorry. It’s been so long I have done any of this” I reply, letting out a small sigh.

“So long you did what?” He asks gently, his eyes stuck on me.

“You know” I reply, somewhat nervous.

“Had a meal with someone you are getting to know” He offers gently,

“Yea. Well, if you put it that way”

He chuckles lightly,

“I want to get to know you Jules”

I swallow hard, sipping from my glass.

“I am not the friendliest person”

“I will take my chances”

“Why?” I ask,

“It’s something about your eyes” He replies, sipping from his glass.

“My eyes?”

“Yes. Usually, they say the eyes are a window to the soul. Yours don’t tell me much. I am eager to get to know you. Find out what makes you, you.”

I clear my throat slightly, taking a big sip from my wine glass, unsure of what to say to him. He continues to hold my gaze, smiling more to himself,

“I am sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?” He asks softly,

“Nothing I can’t handle”

Right on cue, the hottest comes over to inform us our table is ready.

“Shall we?” He says, finishing the remainder of what is in his glass.

We walk over to our table, pulling a chair out for me. I catch a whiff of his perfume again. A mild stir surges through me.

I watch him take his seat. He picks up the menu, studying it. I do the same, looking over the menu.

“Let’s try tonight’s special” He says, looking up from the menu.

I smile softly at him, handing the waiter the menu, “Tonight’s special it is”

The waiter nods slowly, jotting in his notepad.

“So… your showcase, how are you feeling now?” He asks, when the waiter is out of earshot.

“Erm.. good. Just these last minute details driving me nuts”

“Hmm. Comes with the territory. Again, I am looking forward to seeing your pieces”

“Thank you” I reply, “I hope you like them. I hope everyone likes them”

“Aww they will” He soothes,

“About the showcase” I begin, stuttering slightly, “I was hoping you would be my plus one”

“Like a date?” He asks, somewhat surprised.

“Yea. Kinda like my date”

He smiles slowly, “I will love too”

I let out a small sigh,

“I was hoping you would say that”

“I am glad to be of service” He says, reaching from across the table to take my hands in his, a slight shiver runs through me. He holds my gaze still, parting his lips softly.

I look down at my palms in his, feeling his warmth spread through me.

“What are you so scared of?” He asks gently, kneading my palms softly.

“I am not scared” I reply, looking around the room, anything to distract me from him. His gaze, so raw, making my palms sweat.

“Let me in Jules, that’s all I ask”

I bring my gaze back to him, searching his face for clues to this game we seem to be playing, mentally chiding myself to back off.

But something, his warmth, his charm.

Something is making it so hard for me to restrain myself. But what is it am I so scared of??

Oh damn Jules, what is it you are doing??

©️Unwana Udo-osoh

Me, Myself And I

I love my life. It’s been full of it’s up and downs. I know. But I am grateful for the life I have.
When I started this Blog, I had no idea what I want(ed) out of It. I know I love to write a lot. I am fascinated by words, phrases, the construction of words to express an emotion or feeling(s) leaves me breathless. And For this reason I choose to Write too.
I started this Blog as an outlet for my hidden emotions and thoughts. I knew if I didn’t speak up, I would run mad. (God forbid) and as my best friend would say… “That would have been your tragedy”
I am a Young West African lady with a purpose to Write. A purpose to share my thoughts and feelings with the world. So forgive me, If I might sound politically incorrect at times, English is not my mother tongue.
Life happens and I choose to learn from it. I choose to live. I choose to laugh. I choose to love. And above all I choose to Write.
Hope You enjoy reading my Blog.
God’s speed!

Best Compliment I Have Ever Received

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

The best compliment I have ever received?!

This is going to be a bit hard, because I do get a lot of compliments and and I love giving em out too.

I love seeing the smile that creeps up on people’s face, when I compliment them. Especially, when I sense that you could use a lil boost to your confidence.

People struggle with their confidence a lot, a lil compliment here and there, helps give ‘em a nudge or some sort of boost, make them know that it is okay to be themselves, regardless of what the next person thinks. I do honestly believe we are all winging it here, No one really has a manual to this thing called life.

Anyways,

I digress,

I think I will just break it down to compliments that I like to receive,

I love hearing I am beautiful,

I put a lot of time and effort to my appearance, so hearing I look beautiful at any given time, gives me some sort of validation that I am doing it the right way. Especially, when people say I look a lot younger for my age.

I love hearing I am smart and intelligent,

And,

I love getting compliments on my writing,

I dare say, getting compliments on writing is ultimate boost to my confidence. Always keeps me on cloud 9.

As always,

I hope you enjoyed reading through. 🤍

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Success/Failure

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

I know it might sound cliche, but I don’t believe in failure. I see everything that happens to me, good or bad, as a learning curve. Be it success or failure. I learn from everything that happens to me.

That is why,

I encourage introspection, coming back to self, being honest with self, as much as you can, at any given opportunity.

I see failure as part of a process in life, you win some and you lose some. I also encourage the habit, of being gentle with self.

Sometimes, we can be too hard on ourselves.

I am also guilty of that, there used to be a time that the mere thought of failure would cripple me, so much so that I was afraid to live in my authentic truth.

I was afraid to start new projects, live my life the way I want.

I had to learn to be gentle with me. I had to learn to be not so hard on me.

I learnt to sit with my emotions, and I realized that everything that happens to me, happens to me for a reason. It is some sort of learning curve, helping me to know better and do better.

Success is relative, and so is fear. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.

And if at first you don’t succeed,

Please dust yourself up and try again 🤍

As always,

I hope you enjoyed reading through.

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Opening Sentence In My Autobiography

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

If I could describe the life I have lived, I would simply say, I came, I saw, and I definitely conquered.

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Three Objects I Can’t Live Without

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

I know it’s a lil vain, but I can’t live without my phone. I am always on my phone. Everyone I know, complains about this. I honestly wish I had an idea how to live without it, but I don’t. I do everything on it. It’s a life saver.

I can’t live without my rosary, I always have to have it on my person. I meditate and Pray with it, which helps keep my anxiety at bay. It’s like a talisman, warding off evil and bringing me luck.

I can’t stand a dry lip to save my life, so my lip balm always has to be with me.

As a matter of fact,

If there are three things you are always going to find in my purse,

It would be,

My phone, My Rosary and Lip balm.

After all, I am just a girl. 😉

As always,

I hope you enjoyed reading through, xx

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Being Consistent

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

Being consistent,

I struggle so much with being consistent, it’s a huge flaw of mine. I get easily overwhelmed, And just kind of shut down. More like hibernate.

But this year, and in the next six months, I am going to try my hardest to be consistent, in everything I do.

I think that’s the only thing keeping me from reaching my true potential. Being consistent with all my projects.

I tend to start off great, then get overwhelmed, and kind of shut it down

This year, I am showing up.

When I feel like it, or not. Scared, overwhelmed and what not. No more excuses,

I am going to show up and do what needs to be done.

Won’t you wish my luck?! ☺️

©Unwana Udo-osoh

Have Faith

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

Breathe, Relax, Have faith.

Everything will work out for your good. 🤍

I would give this advice to any of my selfs tbh, if there is one thing I have learnt in my journey through life so far,

Having faith that everything will work out for your good makes life a lil easier.

It’s not the easiest feat to have faith, especially when the odds are stacked against you. But as I will always say, what other choice do you have?

© Unwana Udo-osoh

Disingenuous People

What bores you?

Disingenuous people,

I can smell their BS, (excuse my French) from a mile away and they always tend to bore me to death with their antics.

I am very observant, and I sense a lot of things especially when you are trying your hardest to conceal it, be it, behavior or patterns. And I believe, there is absolutely no creativity in being disingenuous.

I think another reason why they bore me, is their need to always outsmart the next person. Half the time, a disingenuous person isn’t the smartest person in the room.

I love dealing with honest people, I love knowing where I genuinely stand with people. I don’t like to have to be on my guard.

But these days,

It seems like you always have to be on your guard, one way or another.

Maybe that’s why I get bored when I am dealing with people these days, and just choose to be by myself. 🙃

©Unwana Udo-osoh